Will my wife and daughters be safe in this world?

Jump to Comments

WARNING: The following writing contains language which may be unsuitable for certain age groups. Reader discretion is advised.

It’s a dark, ugly world in which our mothers and sisters live; a darker, uglier world would it be in which we would live with our wives and raise our daughters. Call me cynical but the stark truth remains: “Crime and violence against women are on the rise”.

There’s a broad spectrum of atrocities perpetrated by this male chauvinistic society against women which includes but is not limited to: rape (which includes marital rape); dowry violence; molestation; harrassment on the streets; outraging a woman’s modesty (any sound, gesture, or exhibition of any object intending to insult the modesty of a woman); kidnapping, abduction or inducing a woman to compel her for marriage; trafficking (mostly for the purpose of prostitution); incest; female foeticide; discrimination (by denial of rights); genital mutilation and so on and so forth.

Statistics proves that the world is becoming alarmingly insecure for girls and women. According to a UNFPA report in the year 2000:

• At least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex, or abused in some other way – most often by someone she knows, including by her husband or another male family member; one woman in four has been abused during pregnancy.
• At least 60 million girls who would otherwise be expected to be alive are missing from various populations, mostly in Asia, as a result of sex-selective abortions, infanticide or neglect.
• Rape and other forms of sexual violence are increasing. Many rapes go unreported because of the stigma and trauma associated with them and the lack of sympathetic treatment from legal systems. Estimates of the proportion of rapes reported to authorities vary – from less than 3 per cent in South Africa to about 16 per cent in the United States.
• Two million girls between ages 5 and 15 are introduced into the commercial sex market each year.
• At least 130 million women have been forced to undergo genital mutilation or cutting; another 2 million are at risk each year from this degrading and dangerous practice.
• So-called “honour” killings take the lives of thousands of young women every year, mainly in Western Asia, North Africa and parts of South Asia.
• In parts of South Asia, Western Asia and Africa, men are seen as having a right to discipline their wives as they see fit for a varietyof reasons such as: not obeying the husband, talking back, refusing sex, not having food ready on time, failing to care for the children or home, questioning the man about money or girlfriends or going somewhere without his permission.

Our India is also not lagging behind in this regard. A recent example is the Jessica Lall murder case. Almost seven years after the incident, justice is still elusive and the perpetrators are at large. Another example is the Priyadarshini Mattoo rape and murder case. In both these cases, the crimes were perpetrated by influential persons. Few years back, a policeman raped a college girl in broad daylight in Mumbai. Dhananjay Chatterjee raped an innocent school girl in Kolkata. Recently, a man raped an eight-year-old girl in Punjab. Sick! To top it all, some of our lawmakers are also involved in cases of rape and other crimes against women. Check out this report to get a picture of the situation in India.

The situation prevailing is very grim. Certain governments around the world are adding to the misery of the fairer sex. As an example, in 2005, the Australian Crime and Misconduct Commission recommended to the Parliament that live acts of genital self-penetration and lesbian sex be legalized in certain strip clubs for the entertainment of men which is absolutely ludicrous. The courage and sanity of Parliamentary Secretary Kerry Shine is appreciated who rejected these recommendations.

What is the reason for such a grievous state of affairs?

I am no expert in this issue. The reasons that I give may not even be correct. But this is what I think. And these are, by no means, the only causes. There may be others as well which I am unaware of and you can take the liberty to enlighten me in this regard. I consider the following to be responsible for the endemic violence against women:

1. Poverty, Tradition and Superstition – This is particularly prevalent in the Indian rural scenario and is responsible for female foeticide. In many rural areas, the birth of a girl – child is considered an ill omen. Also, the evil dowry system is still widely practiced across India. This puts an insurmountable financial burden on the parents, if they are poor. And thanks to our leaders and governments, who at one hand are doing great to boost up the country’s GDP growth by 8%, have very bad policies to help the poor. And the parents take the extreme step of killing the innocent infant. Child sacrifices are also prevalent in many areas of the country.
2. Violent Childhood – Violent and abusive experiences during childhood (like inter-parental violence) have a deep impact on a child’s psyche. The child often gets a distorted view of masculinity through these (often, traumatic) experiences. This often shows up during adulthood, according to reports, in the form of violent behaviour patterns especially against women.
3. Power and control – Power and influence drives most men crazy as is quite evident from the conditions prevailing in the world. Men often tend to forget the wisdom shared by Peter Parker’s Uncle Ben – With great power comes great responsibility - and go wayward. Men in power think that they can get away with whatever they do. And sometimes, innocent women and girls become the victims of their wanton desires and machinations.
4. Pornography – Pornography is one of the vilest evils of society from times immemorial. It distorts the minds of men by portraying women as objects of sex rather than persons. And shockingly, it is just a click away!

Regular users of porn have been shown to have increasingly hostile and aggressive sexual fantasies.

TIME magazine: “In recent years a number of psychologists and sociologists have joined the chorus of religious and political opponents in warning about the impact of pervasive pornography. They argue that porn is transforming sexuality and relationships – for the worse. Experts say men who frequently view porn may develop unrealistic expectations of women’s appearance and behaviour, have difficulty forming and sustaining relationships and feeling sexually satisfied. Online porn has catapulted overall pornography consumption, bringing in new views, encouraging more use from existing fans, and escalating consumers from soft-core to harder-core material.”

Studies also show correlation between aggressive and violent behaviour and regular viewing of porn, as well as more permissive views on rape and violence against women.

- Matt Heerema

What can be done to remedy the situation?

As always, to solve problems like these, there has to be a collaborative effort between the government, society and individual.

The government has to frame laws for the empowerment of women. This may include laws which provide equal status and opportunities for men and women, laws for crime against women, laws against social evils such as dowry, female foeticide, child sacrifices, prostitution, pornography, etc. It’s high time the government took a tough stand in these issues. Those who indulge in demanding dowry, commit murder through female foeticide, child sacrifices, etc., force women to prostitution and everybody involved in the porn industry must be incarcerated and severely punished. The government must also have various support systems in place to rehabilitate women who were previously into prostitution and porn but want a changed and better life. People in the government or government organizations (especially the police) involved in crimes against women must be tried under the law and if found guilty, must be severely punished and stripped of their office and power ad infinitum. Cooperation between various national governments is required to crack down human trafficking. The government should also constitute bodies which see to it that these laws are enacted in letter and in spirit. The legal bodies must be empowered to carry out a fair trial for the victims of violence and mete out harsh punishments on the perpetrators. I read a story in this site in which a rapist was injected with a female hormone which rendered him impotent. The legal bodies can learn from such examples.

Many cases of violence and sexual abuse go unreported because of the stigma associated with such experiences. The society can help by being more sympathetic to them. The various social institutions can help by spreading awareness and educating women about their rights and the steps they can take when offended and victimized. Schools must take the responsibility to teach their female students techniques of self – defense.

Finally, the individual can never blame anything or anobody other than himself for his actions because it is he who chooses to do what he does. So, the individual can help by being a responsible husband (by not hitting his wife, understanding her needs and loving and caring for her), a responsible father (by loving his kids – both sons and daughters, and by teaching his son to respect women [Check this site out for some tips.]) and a responsible citizen (by respecting women and not perpetrating any crime against them).

Come, let’s make the world a better place for our kids….

19 Comments

Filed under Opinion, Parenting/Children